So if you haven't read my previous post I'M PREGNANT! Yah. I know. I decided to do a question and answer blog (first time ever) to clear the air on the subject and because I have had so many people already ask these things.
#1. I thought you were done?
We never ever planned to have 4 children. Like never. I never thought I would be that woman in Walmart with 3 kids and a big round belly. I always see here and think- she must be crazy! And she is! Bottom line- plans change, and ours did.
#2. Was this on purpose?
I can't count the amount of times I have been asked this. I take it as a complement that I am so open and honest that people really feel they can ask that. I will be honest in my answer since you asked. I think these are tough decisions and I am okay with speaking about how we got here.
The answer is two fold, yes and no. Basically we have scheduled a "V" like three times. All appointments have been canceled. One was even pre-Benny. As of Benny's birth we had always planned February for the real V time. Something to do with it not being hunting or golfing month and Benny being older. So January came and I was like, do I call the doctor or not??? Basically, we had hesitations because we were not 100% sure we should do it. Now, how much hesitation came from fear of the surgery, I can't say. I have talked with many families who were 100% sure they were finished before taking "action". They just knew. That told me we couldn't go through with it if we were not 100% sure, mainly because its permanent.
Mind you, I have been praying about this for a long time! There was a short season where we really thought we were going to adopt a little Russian girl. That door was closed. Then the V door felt closed. We decided to give The Lord an opportunity to expand our family naturally. I believe that we live in a reaping and sowing world. Always have, always will. I squirm when women say, "I am going on the pill, but if God REALLY wants me to have a baby I will". It's just not how my book reads. So, we jointly decided to pull the goalie. Combine that with my New Years resolution and BAM we got a positive test.
The funny part is that in our "defenseless"state I decided we were finished. I hate being pregnant and I love my three boys and decided "what was I thinking risking another pregnancy". Too late.
In all seriousness though, we do believe this child is divine and we cling to that. I will also add a side note here for my non-reproducing friends that I only planned 1 of my 4 pregnancies- Benny. I never felt 100% sure it was time to start having kids. I imagine to make that first decision to have a kid is very hard and scary. We were way too selfish to DECIDE to give everything up. That would have been SO hard. Thankfully, it happened 10months into marriage and we have never looked back!
#3. Are you Catholic? AKA have you heard of birth control?
Yes, I have heard of it, obviously don't like to use it, but I've heard of it. Since our engagement I have taken the issue of birth control VERY seriously and prayed a lot about what is right for us. I do believe that what is right for us, in this area, could be wrong for you. We can all make different decisions. I know people have not always agreed with our decisions but rest assured, we prayed about it a lot.
#4. Are you going to be the Duggars?
No. Absolutely fo sho, this is the END of Becky being pregnant. No matter the outcome.
#5. Becky, don't you like suck at being pregnant?
Yes, yes I do. I know many will think that we have no right to risk carrying another baby when the last two have come 8 weeks early. To that all I can say is to each his own, or as my mom would put it, "it's none of their business". Just know that we cling to the fact that God is the author of life. We know He has the power to open and close the womb and He has chosen to open mine. I also know He gave us brains and it may seem that we are being irresponsible......and that's okay if it seems that way. All I know is in ten years I am NOT going to look back and wonder "should we have tried it one more time.... Could we have got a girl?" I am living out the what if.
Medically speaking, things will be different this time. I will go on progesterone around 18 weeks and I will be traveling to Montana to see a specialist on how else to keep this thing in.
#6. What if its not a girl?
Then we will just keep on keeping on. I am trying not to hope for a girl but it is hard. I have already grieved this once and I really don't want to "go there" emotionally again. As my mother-in-law would say, it is what it is. Many Godly women are given only sons. Elaine Burget had 5! Miss Kay had 4! It happens and it doesn't mean God doesn't love those women, it's just that He had other plans. I believe I can rest in that. If you try 4 times to get a girl, and fail, it's just not in the cards!
#7. When are you due?
November 5th, Benny's 2nd birthday. I am about 12 weeks along.
#8. Are you going to find out the gender?
We are going to try. We both think we need the time to prepare, no matter what it is. My ultrasound will most likely be in June.
#9. Are you going to use a B name?
Yes, Lord help him if its a boy because we don't have many options left. I do not recommend doing this FYI.
#10. How can I pray for you?
Thank you for asking.
It's obvious that we are praying for a full term baby. My God can and does work miracles and we are hoping for one. I am not praying for a girl, but you certainly can.
Our main request has come as a bit of a shock to us. We are still working through the details. Please pray that this baby has a negative blood type. Last week in my lab work they found the antibody c. I will try to explain this so bear with me.
Basically, everyone has a + or - blood type. Most women are positive and can carry a baby that is - or + with no problems. If you are negative and carry a positive baby and their blood leaks into yours, then your body will create an antibody to protect you from the foreign blood. It is not a problem in that pregnancy but is during subsequent pregnancies. I am negative and Brian is positive. I am still trying to get Baker and Beau's blood types but Benny's is positive. That is why they found antibodies in my blood.
So, if this baby is negative, then great! My body will be compatible with it. However, if this baby is positive, my antibodies could attack this baby's red blood cells. This could result in an anemic newborn or a stillborn or a need for an immediate blood transfusion or an in-utero blood transfusion. All not great options. Also, nothing could happen. The baby could be positive and my body still choose not to attack it.
My blood work will be continually monitored and the specialist will hopefully line out a plan for us. The only way to find out the baby's blood type before birth is an amneo.
Please just pray that this is all nothing. Brian and I are calm about it now. It definitely threw us for a curve. We knew were taking a chance with the pre-term issue, but we didn't suspect new issues to arise.
We are thankful to The Lord for our ability to have three wonderful children. We have been blessed. Like I said before, we believe this child too is divine. We Praise The Lord no matter what the outcome, but we are sure hoping for a healthy baby.
If you have any questions I didn't cover, just call me! Thanks for the prayers.
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