I thought it was about time I did a pregnancy update for my friends that haven't heard anything about it lately. I know you all probably dont care what my belly looks like but my mama does and I think Brian's mama does too. So while the pictures may seem silly, someone is enjoying them, lol.
Yesterday I turned the corner and hit 30 weeks!!!! I can't tell you what a relief it is to make it to this point. With Benton my fears weren't so much that I would go at 32 weeks again, rather that I would go before 32 weeks. I know I am not there yet but things are looking soooo great.
I have really been trying to embrace these last weeks of pregnancy. The human body truly is miraculous and it is nothing short of amazing to have a life grow in you. I know this may soud crazy, but I am sooo glad I am a female. God designed my body to make babies, deliver them (or have them cut out), and then have the extra privilege of nursing them. I take great joy in this job and realize this is an honor and a privelege. Brian isn't at all sad that he misses out on these physical jobs which just reminds me that God made us seperate.
I have been doing a lot of reading about birth in general. While pregnant with Baker I spent my time learning how to care for an infant and such. I just survived my pregnancy with Beau and with Benton I just daydreamed about a girl. So, after 3 births I am now reading up on it! I just finished "Birth Matters" by Ina 'May Gaskin and am currently on "Husband Coached Childbirth" by Dr. Bradley. I also read a lot about VBACs. Here is what I have learned, for the first time, on my 4th child, lol.
#1. My body was made to do this. Women have only been delivering in hospitals since the 1940s. However did all those other generations do it? It's part of God's design. I am thankful for hospitals since I obviously use them, but I think my generation has been taught to fear birth.
#2. Birth is natural so don't fear it. Since I was a little girl I can remember fearing the birth process. I didn't complain once about being cut open to get Baker out because I was truly scared to give birth. Surgery was much easier in my mind. Even when they told me I could push Beau out I was terrified. I am sure television has something to do with this, but I am choosing not to be afraid any more.
24 weeks
#3. Birth is empowering. I say this in a non-feminist way because true feminists do NOT reproduce and would never stoop so low to give birth. The real question though is why not? They are trying to achieve equality with men but missing out on the most empowering event for women- a natural childbirth. I have slowly learned throughout motherhood that I am capable of more than I thought I was. My mom really encourages this. So I stretch myself and The Lord provides. I am going to try it again.
27 weeks
#4. I am attempting to VBAC. I have done so much research and found out that my chances of uterine rupture are very small. Within those ruptures the danger is to the baby, not me, and the percentage is teeny tiny. The rule is usually once a cesarean, always a cesarean but that is changing. I have delivered both ways and know for certain that one is much more preferable on every level!
On our 7th Anniversary, 28 weeks.
#5. I am really hoping for a redemptive story here. With Benton I had three prayer requested that were not answered. We praised The Lord for his health but he was breech, I got cut open, and he was early. I have a small part of me that hopes those three will be answered in this pregnancy. Not to mention the gender, lol.
It should be noted that I will gratefully take what I can get here. I will take a girl anyway I can get her. If that means 32 weeks or 39 weeks. I will take her cut out or pushed out. I will take her home 2 days after birth or 24 days after birth. I am not going to complain but I am going to hope.
So here is what I am hoping and praying for.
A successful VBAC. I can't tell you how important this is to me. I don't want thirty minutes of being strapped to a table while they pry me open, dig her out, take her away, and put me back together. I also don't want the next hours or weeks of recovery after that. Not fun.
I want a drug free birth. Yes, I am typing this so you can ask me afterwards. Brian is under strict instructions to make sure this doesn't happen. I have been at 10cm before and it was awful and they gave me the epidural bc I was so......lacking control of my body. I have methods this time and this is my last chance. I have sooo many friends who have done it and I want to be empowered too, for me. Don't get me wrong and think I am seeing this as a competition with other women because its not. I do however have a huge respect for women who went through childbirth naturally and I want that for myself. They encourage me and I will be very upset with myself if I can't even have 1/4 drug free births, lol. I mean, you only have so many kids. It's not like cooking dinner where you get to do it everyday.
I would also really like to make it to October.
29 weeks and our new red door.
Health wise things seem to be looking great. My blood is cooperating with the baby and not attacking her, thank you Lord. I have been on progesterone since 18 weeks to keep my uterus calm. Each week my friend/neighbor/chiropractor adjusts me to remove the strain my sacral ligaments (?) are putting on my uterus that causes breech and preterm babies. I am also receiving accupuncture every two weeks to pull my energy up. Along with prayer, I am hoping something keeps her in.
This today at 30 weeks. Thanks Bake!
We are at a critical point here at 30 weeks. With each of my preemies I bled for 10-13 days before they came out, which would be this week. Right now my cervix is closed, I am not having contractions, and I am not bleeding. I am so thankful. No matter what happens though, my God is good. He doesn't promise me a healthy full term baby or a vbac. His feelings to me aren't expressed through my cirucmstances and mine shouldn't be either. I do hope you will continue to pray for these things. I feel so great right now. I am enjoying life before our family changes. In the meantime we have been enjoying a lot of bike rides, our favorite pastime. I finally stopped to capture this.
I ride alone. Brian is pretty amazing! He has legs of steel, lol.
