In the Raw

  Well I have been feeling much better after my last rant. I know I am first a help meet to Brian, then a mother to 3, and then a friend to many. The Lord really opened  my eyes to relationships that I can take to the next level. Also, I need to be faithful in the small things, even though they might seem small. The body needs all its parts.

On a separate note.....

 We have been changing our diets. One day when it was -20 outside and I was bored we began watching netflix documentaries recommended by my sister in law. I loved them!

My favorites are "Food Matters" "Forks Over Knives" and "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead"

I am still not sure where I stand on what is best since every opinion is opposition with another but We have at least changed in small steps.

As a result we have been trying to eat 50%raw food.

Where a typical side for the boys might have been mashed potatoes we have switched it to this and our side is a beautiful salad.

One Spaghetti Monday we actually ONLY ate veghtables for dinner! Aaahhh! I baked a spaghetti squash with a homemade red pepper sauce. It was pretty good.

It has been hard. I quit like every weekend, lol, but I feel sooooo much better on the days I don't eat Wendy's or pizza.. The main reason being temptation of beautiful cookies that the Girl Scouts and I make, and of course the elusive DP.

The main consistent change is juicing. We have juiced every morning for probably 3 weeks now. 

We have only found 2 delicious choices. One being the carrot apple juice seen above. The other one we drink EVERY morning now is one apple, one orange, a handful of kale and parsley. It's so good!

Anything with cucumbers or celery is awful! See below

My in laws are visiting for Easter and I can't wait to make juice for them! Get exited!!!!

Frustrated

I am frustrated. For months now my mind has been swirling around several concepts. Concepts are great, but if you can't figure out how to put them into action then they are useless. What does it mean to deny myself daily and take up Jesus' cross? What in the world does that look like? How do I loose my life so I can keep it? How do I give up what I cannot keep to gain what I cannot loose? How do I live in light of eternity? How do I store up for myself treasures in Heaven? I don't know what Jesus did for the first 30 years of his life besides be born, get lost on a trip to the temple, and study the Word. I DO know however that from 30 on He loved people. He was often moved by compassion. He fed people... actual food and spiritual water. He didn't ignore people that the disciples thought He should. Instead He embraced them and often healed them. He was often angry with the Pharisees. He had many unpleasant words to say about them. He was a teacher, although sometimes in an unclear manner. He traveled a lot. He slept. He ate. He got up early to pray. He had disciples and He had friends. I also know that He had no rights to his life. He was born to die and that He did. There was no decision to be made. How do I mimic this? He did lots of crazy things that I am probably NOT going to do. I don't see myself going to into the wilderness on a 40 day fast. I don't think I am going to work any miracles and I don't have 12 disciples. But seriously? I feel surrounded in my Christian world with people who have very tangible ways of living out the gospel or being like Jesus. I feel as if I have been in a slump. In 2010 I wrote this blog post about being willing to do ANYTHING... Then I waited for some huge revelation to come... and nothing... and nothing... and well freakin A, here we are in 2013 and honestly where is my fruit? I am not trying to be Debbie Downer here I am just saying maybe I had bigger plans for myself than the Lord did. We are not adopting. We are not taking in foster kids. We have not sold all our possessions and given them to the poor. We have given to the poor and supported adoption and I sure hope that counts. We aren't making wooden bow ties or shooting commercials. We aren't going to Africa and I am not Lottie Moon. We didn't even get to run a half marathon at Disney in the name of cancer. I guess the question here is what if what the Lord has for me is a bunch of small stuff? Maybe my perspective is off here I don't know. We teach the Dave Ramsey class which I LOVE and I try to help new people in town find friends or be their friend. I can say that we have surely improved the quality of life for some families in ND but I am not sure that relates to kingdom work. I can cook for other families and clean and babysit. But how does this all add up? I was talking about this with a friend and I said it just feels like so much small stuff and her reply was "but you don't want the small stuff? You want the big stuff?" Man, I didn't want her to be right, but maybe she is. Maybe I want to be in the lime light (what does that even mean?). Maybe I want to be the hero. Maybe I STILL HAVEN'T DIED TO MYSELF!!!!! I am sure it has something to do with my theater background and the fact that if my father hadn't told me I COULD NOT major in drama at OU then I would perhaps be broke in Hollywood waiting for my big movie break. I feel as if I have been waiting for my "such a time as this" so I can rise up and save the Jews! But I guess that was Esther and not Rebecca, lol. I need to find a way to love the least of these, whether I see them or not. My prayer is that I will be presented with opportunities to love people or maybe just open my eyes to the people in front of me. I know I also have the huge responsibility of raising my children but I have this itching that there is more. Maybe I am looking to far ahead, I don't know. I think I am going to start with my neighbors. I am sandwiched between 2 old retiree couples. Its easy to befriend them in summer but walking out in winter is a different story. I could shovel their HUGE sidewalk or just go over for a chat. No one will know if I do it or not. There will be no parade or party and no one will write a book about it, lol. Only One will know. Why do I need my works to be seen by men? Man, I need to get over myself! Anyways... there's a big snippet of Becky's heart in case you were wondering. Love you guys!