Halloween

You know how when the season changes and just the smell of the air can bring back memories? Sometimes it takes you way back or other times just a year. Fall always does this for me. In college it reminded me of a boy I dated for a quick second in high school. After college it reminded me of OU football. When we moved it reminded me of the Ranch and camping with the Hillikers. 

Halloween has the same effect. For a while I remembered the awesomeness of 6th grade. I was Marilyn Monroe. I had the best friends in the world and we loved celebrating anything and everything. My dad drove us around in the back of his truck while we dodged the teenagers with shaving cream.

My wonderful mother worked so hard on a dress for me. I so wish I had a full picture to share with you today.

Sometimes I am reminded of the halloween party my college roommates and I threw. This was right after meeting Brian, but of course he didn't come to the party at Erie Estate. He was too fond of me yet...

Some Halloweens I think of when Brian and I were a pumpkin and farmer, but you don't want to see a picture of that. 

This year though I am reminded of Benny. 

This is us last year on Halloween. One year to the day. This is the day we lost hope of carrying our third baby full term. Last year Halloween was on a Monday. On Mondays I do my grocery shopping and this day was no different. I pushed my superheros through WalMart and piled up food for the week. We went to a special library time with Hannah and Reese. It began like any normal holiday. 

The previous weekend I had signs of labor and Brian and I had decided that if  the signs continued on Monday then I would return to the doctor. Of course you know that the signs continued and so that Monday, Halloween, around 3pm I went back to the doctor to learn that over the weekend I had dilated from 0-2. I was told to immediatley go to the hospital. At this point I wasnt even 32 weeks pregnant. Of course when I found this out I had a huge emotional eruption in the middle of my exam and left bawling. I had a one sentence conversation with Brian where I simply said "meet me at the hospital". I called my mom hysterical, went home to my friend who was babysitting and told her I had to go to the ER.

When I arrived there I was still a wreck. Thank the Lord for sweet receptionists who understand women and empathize without exchanging too many words. 

I was given a shot to stop labor and the lung steroid shot. We missed trick or treating all together, were released from the hospital that evening and sent home for bed rest. Benny stayed in until Saturday morning around 9am. 

I say all this because I am so happy for this year. So happy to have my little dragon in my arms and not my belly. So happy to walk the streets with my boys and my husband. God is good and He protected Benny and all that drama is over and done with, but I am still reminded of it today and I dont think that is a bad thing. It's good to look back and rejoice. Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.

So here we are today at the library in about the same position (Baker is at school). Those are the same book shelves in the background, same carpet, same Beau, but everything else is different. (I was  sure to not wear the same outfit, it was hard).

Today is for rejoicing! Rejoicing that I can still dress up for a costume party if I want to.

Rejoicing that I have friends who will do the same thing. And friends who rejoice when they finally figure out I am Effie from "The Hunger Games"

Rejoicing for new life and a new year. Rejoicing that Benny is healthy and as of now, we will be trick or treating tonight. Rejoicing because our God is worthy! Happy Halloween from Brian, Benny, Darth Vader, Batman, and myself.