Resolutions

So, this particular blog has been bouncing around in my head for sometime. I decided last night after feeding Benton that I need to get it down/out so I can close that "window" in my head.

My New Year's resolutions in 2012 include:
#1. reading one non-fiction book a month. "The average millionaire reads one non-fiction book per month. If you want to be a millionaire, do millionaire things." -Thomas J. Stanley/Dave Ramsey

Now, don't get upset b/c I have lofty goals that may appear greedy. Brian and I attempt to be great stewards of what we are given and we certainly don't love money, so I see nothing wrong with acting like a millionaire, even though I am not one.... yet.

On the list of books so far:
The Dream Giver- Bruce Wilkinson
One Thousand Gifts-Ann Voskamp
Made to Crave- Lysa Terkraust
Radical, Taking Back your Faith from the American Dream-David Platt...we will see how this one works with my previous statements.
Kisses from Katie-Katie Davis

Basically, readers are leaders. I am not reading to become rich, neither do the millionaires. There is a much deeper concept there.

#2. Improve on small talk. I am the worst with small talk. I get uncomfortable and.... I just don't know how to act. Example is after church time when people are mingling. I LOVE people and I love to talk to them, but sometimes I don't come across well, especially if someone approaches me. I am like... did you come to talk to me or am I just in your way? Did you have a specific topic in mind? And how long were you expecting this chat to last? All these unknowns swirl in my mind and I usually don't have much to say. Most of the time I am just afraid they are trying to walk past me quickly with a quick hello and I don't want to bother them. Now, if we have a "date" to talk or a decided topic then great. Or if we are doing something else and conversation is a side piece then great. I truly love talking to people. So Brian and I have really really been trying to say "how are you today" or "how was your week" or "what are you up to" when we are in social settings. I think we have both improved and I feel far less rude, even though it was never my intent to be rude.... maybe awkward is a better word.

#3. I am trying to stretch my wardrobe. I have had too long of a love affair with the color grey. My ideal outfit is a nice fitting pair of jeans and a plain grey t-shirt. I think I have 4 or 5 plain grey t-shirts, not including long sleeves. I don't know why I am this way... So, I have been allowed some money in the budget for clothes b/c I need new ones and also b/c well... I am not the same size I used to be and I have been trying SO SO hard to step out and buy something with color or pattern. I do throw in some pink, purple, and stripes, but rarely do I throw in some pattern. That is scary!! I am also trying to be age appropriate. Very hard when you love how your sister looks but she is only 18. I have yet to give up any ripped jeans, although I know the time must soon come. My jeans have ALWAYS ripped and I have ALWAYS worn them regardless.

Here is a pic of my favorite grey shirt, although seeming a bit low cut here. I still wear this shirt, once a week. I know, b/c I look for it when it is dirty. I love this shirt. I also have it in white. This is Baker and Beau by the way, not Benton.Man, doesn't this picture take you back???

And here are one of my fav pair of ripped jeans, from A&F- a company who makes great jeans. These are no longer wearable. You can't really tell from the angle, but I am pregnant with Beau here. Love, those jeans. My parents bought them for me like 2 days before college started. Still in my closet... just in case.

#4. Maybe run a 5K... again... maybe.

#5. Improve our diets. This is big for Brian too. I should say improve by baby steps. We already eat whole wheat noodles and such, but this last week I attempted whole wheat biscuits and waffles. They were fantastic. I had tried whole wheat pancakes and they were awful. Even Baker would not eat them.

I have no intentions of giving up Dr. Pepper, syrup, or sausage. I will however tweak other areas to compensate including adding more fruits and vegetables and eliminating as much white bread as possible. We even had whole wheat French bread with our spaghetti last night... and no one complained.

#6. if you are still reading.. STAY PUT EMOTIONALLY. If you are from Oklahoma you prob heard that we really thought we were moving back, like yesterday. Its a wash, we aren't. For sure. We had been told Brian would be at this new repair facility and well... its a part time job so they aren't going to move us to do it. Now, I don't want to hurt anyones feeling b/c I love people everywhere, but I am fine with staying. Yes, I miss my family dearly, especially my nieces. Reese loves me and she might think of me like an aunt and well.... what do my nieces think of me? I have no idea. I also want my boys to know their grandparents well. They love all 4 of them to death and it is hard to know they we don't see them often enough. We also have dear friends in OKC and Tulsa. I know these friendships are not ending anytime but we do value them and enjoyed living in both places b/c of the people.

That said- The Lord does have us here for a reason. Brian's mom says that a lot and I do believe it. I also believe it is more than just to make money. I have really felt like some events in our life lately have been orchestrated by the Lord, with friendships and us really stepping out of our comfort zone to try new things.

As I have been reading "The Dream Giver" no huge dream has come to mind, rather the realization that I am to live fully in my personality. "He who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it- to him it is sin". If I know I am to embrace my outgoing personality to love on other women/couples and instead I stay in my shell- I sin. If I don't use my resources wisely, I sin.

I am not sure I am communicating this well,I am just saying that I feel like I have seen fruits from being here. Now that we are staying, and happily I might add, we are going to dig our roots deeper. Life is hard and we aren't suppose to go at it alone. Kathy Mullican told us when we moved to Tulsa that we needed to find a church that needed us. I am not saying Brian and I are important, the body requires every part to function. No part is greater than the other. It just seems that I have finally begun to understand where I fit in.... not as a taker, but as a giver. I have found how to play my part in the body, much of which has overflown naturally from who God made me. As Alex Himaya would call it your "sweet spot" of service. The gratification from this is wonderful. To feel as if you are doing work for the kingdom and you are making a dent... rather than just being stagnant. Being stagnant is an easy temptation and a great fear. Another reason to pull towards others who are growing.

I have been much encouraged from my dear friend Courtney who is in the process of adopting 2 children and has started an adoption ministry at our church. Her and her husband are PIONEERS. They are changing generations upon generations. It has really fueled me to find my niche, dream big, and grow there. I don't want to be passed by.

Hope that made sense. Thanks to all our friends and family everywhere. We are truly blessed. Thanks for reading if you have the endurance to make it through- lol. I am shocked my children slept long enough that I could get it down!